Rest and Reset: Finding Purpose in the In-Between

What I've learned from slow periods and my approach to staying creative, positive, and motivated in career and creative lulls.

So I've been on an impromptu social media hiatus lately and mostly just staying in my hermit cave doing hermit things. I'm lurking more than engaging these days on social media these past couple of months, because sometimes you only have the time and energy for that.

So this is what I've been up to:

Writing books doesn't pay the bills (yet), so after leaving my last job a few months ago, I have since been busy with writing my next book(s), applying to jobs, going for interviews and doing their test assignments, doing some freelance writing on the side, taking online courses and picking up new skills, etc etc. 

In short, I've been trying to focus on my offline life. I've spent so much time online the past few years because:

1) I'm a chronic over-sharer and post stuff indiscriminately, especially things I'm passionate about,

2) I had five books out in the past three years and needed to build an online presence.

And while I'm very grateful for all the connections I've made online, it's also been nice to go offline and connect with the real world again, to look up from my phone and restore my screen-deadened eyes (and neck), immerse in a book or go down a research rabbit hole, watch TV with my dad in the evenings and not rush to get back to the computer, to talk to friends face-to-face and have lengthy conversations over a meal, etc.

Although I'm not gonna lie and say everything has been peachy. To be honest, this job hunt is kicking my butt at the moment. It's true what they say, that applying to jobs is a second job on its own, because what is up with the job market right now? Aside from the 100+ candidates applying for every role you're eyeing, employers are also asking for the moon these days (because why does an events management role require me to have design and video editing skills, or a content management role require me to know how to code? I'm happy to learn these, but to list these skills as a basic requirement is wild. Just say you want one person to do three people's jobs).

I've gotten to the final interview stage for at least four roles, and they’ve all either ghosted me (and only replied after I chased them for three weeks) or told me (after two-plus months of dragging out the hiring process) that they had reassessed their business needs and altered the role so I'm no longer qualified for it. Um, maybe firm up your business needs before putting up your job ad and making your candidates go down to your office multiple times, do case studies and assignments and whole presentation decks, and even meet your CEO?? Just a thought.

@landokalrizHalf these jobs aren’t even real 💀 #jobs #applying #recruiters #satire

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Also, now is not the best time of the year to be applying to jobs now because most hiring managers would be clearing their annual leaves or not making major hiring decisions until the new year. 

It's so easy to spiral when you're in this lull period, so easy to despair and look at all the things other people have that you don't (which is also why I've been staying off social media, for the sake of my mental health), so easy to look at all the things you want that feel so out of reach and wonder if you just aren't good enough or deserving of them yet. And some days, I do spiral. 

(Shout-out to the friends who have been there on those days and helped me through those messy days, who checked in periodically and sent me job postings, given me life/career advice or lent a listening ear, even those who sent me random memes to take my mind off things, who dragged me out for lunch so I don't coop up at home and stew. You all know who you are. I appreciate you more than you know 🫶❤️)

But lull periods aren't a time to despair. If anything, it's a time to hold on harder to gratitude and the things we do have, to double down on the things that we want to do and get clear about the path that we want to take. I like to see lull periods as the universe's way of making me take a break, its way of giving me the time and space to recalibrate and decide how I want to move forward, to take stock of my life up to this point and reassess what to keep and what to let go of, how I want my life to look like, and plan my next steps in the direction of that goal/life. To slow down and focus on my mental health and spend time on things that fulfil me and people I love.

And as this timely video that popped up on my feed said:

@ktvill_We have so much more agency, autonomy and power than we can ever imagine. We just need to practice it like a muscle. #change #growth #choice

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So I'm focusing on what I can control for now, looking at what I do have, giving thanks to the blessings in my life, reminding myself that my worth isn't attached to whether someone picks me, looking out for opportunities and putting myself out there, trying, failing, picking myself up, and holding on to the belief that everything is temporary and that our struggles are the fuel to get us to where we want to be. 

I'm cherishing the freedom and flexibility this period brings me that allows me to:

• Swim every morning and do things at my own pace instead of commuting at peak hour and rushing to the office, my mind already consumed by my to-do list and this meeting or that deadline, my cortisol level already high at nine in the morning

• Write and revise my manuscript and devote the necessary time and energy for the writing residency I'm currently doing

• Ruminate (sometimes a little too much) and daydream (which, as any writer knows, is just as important as the writing itself)

• Consume content that inspires my next books

• Spend time with my dad in the evenings instead of working overtime (because when we have a day job, the only time to write and do anything else is after work)

• Catch up with other self-employed/funemployed friends over brunch or tea

• Explore and get started on the projects I've been meaning to do since the start of the year but haven't had the time or headspace to until now

Because I know that this period won't last forever, and when things get busy again, I'll look back on this time ruefully as I had before. I don't want to look back in the future and wonder why I squandered all this free time I have now moping and despairing and being miserable. My future self is counting on my current self to make memories to look back on fondly, and to create the results she will get to see.

So if you're in a lull period like me—whether you’re waiting for a reply from a literary agent/publisher/hiring manager, received yet another rejection, or if things aren’t going the way you envisioned at the moment—and you’re facing uncertainty and instability in your life, just know you're not alone. And you have someone who's right next to you (figuratively), breaking and rebuilding, trying, taking risks, failing, learning, growing, waiting for daylight.

Take care of yourself, repeat your positive affirmations daily, and remember that you are always worth more than your job, title, salary, achievements or accolades. You got this. Onward.