Building a social media presence as an author

—or how I got over my fear of failing loudly and being seen.

Dec 20, 2024

I used to fear posting on social media. I liked my quiet little life and not having everyone know what I was up to. I barely posted on Instagram, and didn’t engage much on the apps at all. I lived my life offline, and spent most of my free time between the pages of books, in blissful anonymity.

Over time, I start sharing more stories about my day, the bookstores I visited, the books I was reading and enjoying, the brunches I had at the cafes near my office. Only my friends who were on Instagram saw those stories and posts, and that was perfectly fine. I didn’t post for others to respond; I posted just because I wanted to share the quotidian details of my life.

Stepping Out and Being Perceived

Cut to 2021, when my book came out.

That was when I had to learn to get over my fear of putting myself in the public eye and letting people know me as a writer and my work. I started engaging more with readers and writers, mostly on Instagram (since that’s my main social platform).

I don’t hate making new friends on the internet, of course, especially since they also share similar interests as me, but suddenly, posting became a lot more nerve-wracking. As I started to connect with more readers and writers, I became aware that everything I shared would be seen by more people. All my efforts in book promotion would be witnessed by readers and writers and my non-reader/writer friends and family, who know me in real life and know the version of me that isn’t an author/public speaker/content creator.

And that terrified me.

What would people think of me? Would they judge me or hate me for being too loud, too passionate about the things I love, too opinionated, too self-absorbed, too nerdy, just too much in general? Would my old friends think I’m pretentious or cringey?

While I continued to enjoy sharing snippets of my life online, I also carried a lot more fear and self-doubt as I began my foray into book promotion (because we all know that books don’t sell themselves, and we as authors have to be the biggest advocates for our work).

I got in front of the camera more, I did more reels and videos of myself reading from my book, introducing myself and my work, I did Instagram lives and virtual interviews and panel discussions. For someone who didn’t use to like even taking selfies or posting photos of myself, this was a big step out of my comfort zone.

The Courage to Fail Loudly

But the truth is, no writer starts out with millions of readers, no YouTuber starts out with a huge channel, no entrepreneur starts out with a seven-figure business. It’s not unusual to start small; everyone begins somewhere.

So why was I so afraid to be seen trying—and failing—publicly? Why did I become so self-conscious about sharing parts of myself online?

Because of that little voice in my head that I now realise is my inner critic. The little demon that judges me for everything I do or say.

Every Instagram post, every TikTok video, every blog article that I publish that doesn’t get massive amounts of likes and shares is splayed out for everyone to see.

I used to be so afraid of people judging my efforts. Oh, look at her trying so hard to engage her audience, look at her wearing her heart on her sleeve, look at her oversharing, look at her getting so little engagement on that post, look at her screaming into the void about something no one cares about.

Each time I posted about my books, I felt like I was asking for attention. Like I was screaming, “Look at me! Buy my books!”

(There’s probably also some social conditioning involved being in an Asian society, where self-promotion or trying to stand out and ask for attention can seem self-absorbed and braggy.)

So I tried to keep posting about my books to a minimum. In the months and weeks leading up to release days for my books, I paced out my posting—no more than twice a week, and intersperse it with regular life updates so it doesn’t look like my whole feed is about my books.

But I realise now that my inner critic has stopped me many times and judged me more than anyone ever has. I realise that most people are too busy worrying about themselves and their own lives to remember that you tripped over your words in that Instagram live, or that you overshared on stories, or to find your last book promo video cringe.

I realise that there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying and failing loudly. Trying and failing means that at least I made the effort. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. My social pages are for me to express myself and experiment with creating content, and public perception of me is out of my control. What other people think of my efforts has nothing to do with me; all I can focus on is putting my work out there and hoping that it will connect with the people who will appreciate it.

Reframing Promotion as Sharing Information

With that mindset shift, I now also look at book promotion in a different way.

Instead of looking at marketing and publicity as shouting into the void about my work, I choose to look at it as just sharing information—about myself, my writing, and anything else that I’m interested in (books, dramas, music, a bunch of roses I bought, Gilmore Girls memes, etc).

With my books, all I’m doing is sharing my process, my milestones, the things that inspired me, my challenges and journey. It’s not about getting people to please buy my books (although that would be a happy result), but about sharing information on my personal creative process and the result of that.

When I see it as just information sharing—regardless of whether others find it useful, entertaining, valuable, or interesting enough to engage with (like, share, comment, repost, etc)—I have the courage to venture out a little more.

On even better days, I would remind myself: I wrote a thing! Multiple things! Books that took years to write and publish, having sacrificed weeknights, weekends and my social life! Hundreds of thousands of words that I slaved over, while holding fast to the dream of getting my stories out in the world despite rejection after rejection! Why am I feeling embarrassed to talk about them now just because I’m afraid of what people will think about me? I did the thing. I’m allowed to talk about it. I’m allowed to take up space, be seen, and even fail in public (e.g. a couple of pre-order campaigns that garnered little traction, giveaways that didn’t get enough reach/participants). What’s the worst that can happen, after all? As with all things, we just keep trying and hoping for the best. If nothing else, our failures become opportunities to learn and grow.

So this is me showing up in the world, expressing myself, putting my work out there and talking about it.

If you’re interested in more internal pep talks, give this blog a follow, and let me know in the comments! Direct feedback is the best way for writers to know what topics resonate best with our readers.

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